We were watching the "Big Game". How many product write ups open like that? Probably more than one, and the "Big Game" is just a set up anyway. Somehow, we got to talking about foods we have not had in a long time, and really missed. As we talked, an old roommate mentioned something out of our past. This past is so far back there, the past was before there was a Mrs. Alphageek. There was not even a Girlfriend Geek yet. There was just an apartment that had three televisions, two stereos, and perhaps a beer in the refrigerator. This apartment is occupied by two guys who once walked to the store during a blizzard to purchase beer and frozen yogurt. Who the heck needs food?

There was one other accessory that was always present in this ode to bachelordom. Cheese? Chips? Pretzels? Forget those, we had Oatzels. Oatzels were pretzels that were punched up with a little oat bran. Oatzels, oat bran, get it? They were great because we could get them at a wholesale club, at least until Sam's absorbed the wholesale club competitor, and Sams took oatzels off of the shelves. Oatzels complimented beer very well.

My former roomate asked "what ever happened to those oatzels?" He got the alphageek to think about oatzels again. Hearing about oatzels made me realize I could throw the power of the internet at the problem, and try to purchase some oatzels for our enjoyment. Back then there was an internet, but only geeks like the alphageek knew how to use it. Oh, the days of telnet and archie. Anyway, I found the oatzels in about twenty seconds. They are sold by Keystone Pretzels. I took one look and decided to get a few. The box was out on the front porch when I got home, and it was a pretty big box. I am thinking they added some packing materials because this is a huge box. Did I say I ordered a few? How does 20 pounds of oatzels hit you? You might wonder what 20 pounds looks like. I know I did. You can see the answer by clicking this link. (I put something in for scale too) Well, that is not quite right. That picture is only 5 pounds of oatzels. Yes, I have four of these bags. I would just put the picture here, but that would ruin the surprise. After all, I am pretty certain you would read ahead and look at the picture. This would deprive me of the chance to ramble on for you some more about oatzels. Maybe I got a little carried away with ordering so many, but hey these are oatzels!

By now, the shock of the amount I had ordered as well as the lack of packing materials made me realize I had some work to do. My first thought was, "I can give one of these boxes to my old roommate". My second thought was "I can take another box to work".

Using math (I'll do that part for you), I now have ten pounds of oatzels sitting here at alphageek's headquarters. I tried a few, and they are just like I remembered. The have a dense, but tasty texture that ordinary pretzels don't often provide. I remembered that oatzels are more filling than regular pretzels, which means those boxes will go a long way. I also was somewhat surprised to see that oatzels don't really have any more fiber than regular pretzels. I guess there is not very much oat bran in them after all. For me, these are some of the best pretzels out there. I think anyone who likes a denser, heartier taste will like them too.

Time to go get something to eat. I wonder if there is any food here at the headquarters? If you want some, just click this link.

We have been writing a lot of restaurant reviews lately. After all, the reviews are what get people to the site. They could come for the witty and humorous insight into all things food, but massive numbers of readers is not yet happening. I asked a friend why he did not read much, and he said it was because he read slowly. He also pointed out that there are not enough non-food review items to keep his interest, because he lives far away from the location of most of the reviews. We are going to try write some new items up for you. There is an extensive list of geek centered articles that are going to be written, and the articles should provide a means to show off the wit you have come to love.

Today, we are going to show off the smoker results here. Using the smoke is one of those "big deal" projects here. The thing has to actually be clean before you put food in the smoke. The food has to be prepared properly, and then the smoker has to be cleaned after use. We make no claim to making great food in the smoker. After all, smoking is the kind of thing that cause people to use pistols at forty paces and other such things. We pretty much rub the meat in some sort of dry rub, put the meat in the smoker, add some wood chips (the smoker is an electric smoker) and let time take care of the rest.

Mrs. Alphageek brought home the jowls of a pig that won the Louisa County 4H contest at the county fair. At leas, that is what she told me. We took the jowls, and let the jowls sit in the freezer for months. About a year later, we realized we were going to get cuts from the next year's winner, so we needed to clear last year's winner out of the freezer. We used a basic rub, and tied the ends up, to help cook the jowls more uniformly.

Pork Jowls (click to enlarge)

Through the magic of the internet and pictures, you can see the results below.

Smoked Pork Jowls (click to enlarge)

Think of this cut as a really good tenderloin. The meat just melted away in the mouth, sort of like a milkshake that is gone all too quickly. The small cut allows for more smoke flavor to come through, without getting overcooked. The magic of the meat thermometer comes through again.

We were inspired to try this cut because of the original Iron Chef. That would be the Iron Chef that was filmed in Japan, with the great voice overs and the Real Chairman. On a particular episode, one chef mentions that the tuna's best meat is on the cheek, because the cheek does not get over worked while the fish swims. We thought that could apply to the pig too. Smoking this pig jowl made for a great experiment that everyone should try and we loved the results. What have you smoked? Why not leave some feedback and let us know.